My New Year Rant-solutions!

Around this time of year, many people look back over the year and start to make resolutions for the New Year. What did I do wrong? What can I improve on? Not me! I spend WAY too many Februaries filled with guilt disgusted with the fact I couldn’t keep any of my resolutions! So this year I am starting a new tradition…telling everyone I know what THEY need to work on! After all, …it is all about me….

  1. Is it at all possible for my family to remove all Kleenex from their pockets before they put their clothes in the wash? I have clocked in way too many hours sitting on my laundry room floor picking small wet blobs of tissue off my shirts.
  2. Can the “10 items or less” rule be enforced in check-out lines? Could the conveyor belt be rigged to shock a person when that 11th item is placed on it?
  3. Can drug companies put all “possible side effects” info hidden on all their packaging so we hypochondriacs don’t experience “tremors, diarrhea, headache, nausea, blurred vision, dry mouth, weight gain, hair loss and/or hives” BEFORE we even swallow the pill?
  4. Can the reality TV people put a show out where gorgeous, slim perfect people be forced to have reverse lipo, stretch marks added to their tummies, a matched set of bags put under their eyes, chin hair implants and their teeth dyed to match corn? Now THAT is a show I’d watch!
  5. How about all dog owners made to follow a mandate where a computer chip is installed in their dogs and speakers added to their bedrooms where the dogs barking is amplified 10 times. Sweet!
  6. Rude people come with a MUTE button….
  7. People that drink to excess can all be recorded on video and forced to watch themselves looking like demented circus monkeys for hours!
  8. Can children once again start being held accountable for their behavior and can the parents step up and not be afraid to say NO to Jr.?
  9. Could all celebrities be taxed for all the stupid stuff they do? If ya make it on the cover of the Enquirer…PAY UP! Lindsey alone could have built two schools by now.
  10. Could everyone put down the cell phones, pagers, iPods…and listen for once…to each other…to that inner voice…to the sounds around you and maybe you might learn something! Happy New Year everyone!